Sunday, June 5, 2011

Back like New Kids on the Block

When I started this blog in fall 2009, I really needed to strengthen my backbone. It's an ongoing problem, but I'm making progress (in this town, you have no choice but to be pushy sometimes).

During my senior year of college, one of my friend's married male buddies cornered me at a party. Legitimately angry, he bullied me for staying sober (I was the designated driver and recovering from swine flu), wanted to eat a large pizza alone on the hood of his trunk so he wouldn't have to share with anyone inside, and continuously made the moves on me and other ladies despite having a wife and kids at home. He explained that his marriage was "on the fritz," but I wasn't having any of it.

Disgusted by this behavior, I took the story to my blog, where I wrote about other creepers I've had the misfortune of encountering. While most readers agreed the slime-ball deserved to be blasted online, some of my friends got upset and called me mean-spirited. Whether or not that's true, I decided last August to resurrect my Creeper blog to continue documenting all the weirdos I met (there have been too many to count).

During my job search, I kept the blog private so prospective employers wouldn't turn me away. Now that I have an awesome boss who would want me to tell potential predators to piss off, I've made my blog public once again.

Here you'll find stories, quotes, and pictures of creepers who have approached me and my friends out of nowhere.

Now that I'm blogging about creeps again, I've tasked myself with a new challenge. Every time a creeper bothers me, I'm going to take his picture and ask how he feels about having his photograph posted on the Internet. If he expresses even a twinge of humiliation or anger, he'll only experience a fraction of the humiliation women feel when cat called, honked at, or not-so-discreetly groped by manpigs. This is somewhat of an experiment to see how creepers react when put in uncomfortable situations. Would they continue hitting on women so aggressively if the females were to fight back? Perhaps not, so I'll do whatever I can to show this is unacceptable treatment of women. Who's with me?

Monday, August 16, 2010

Define 'creeper'

The Urban Dictionary has several definitions for the word 'creeper':

"Older men who hang out in college clubs and bars and stare at girls half their age and occasionally make obscene gestures and comments."

"A person who does weird things, like stares at you while you sleep, or looks at you for hours through a window. usually a close friend or relative. you know right away if that person is a creeper or does creeper things. it is not hard to spot the creeper."

"Someone who views your profile (multiple times) without saying anything."

"an offensively unimaginative word devised by tacky, braindead college students to describe people they deem sinister, indecorous, uncouth, or otherwise unpleasant" (oh, cry me a river).

"Typically a nice guy, but is called a creep because girl's can be ruthless jerks" (let me guess, a creeper wrote this?).

"A man who is very odd and lurks around the mall staring at young girls . a creeper can also be a very wierd looking man or boy who does not like to socialize but just stays in a corner and stares at people."

"Edward Cullen."

"Generally, someone who is a semi-nice person but is completely and totally socially awkward who tend to try to say something nice or complementary that comes off sounding perverted."

Creeper from November

Here's an old blog entry of a creepshow that harassed me and my college roommate.

November 2009
Sunday morning

My roommate/best friend, Carolyn burst into my bedroom at 7 a.m. I'd gone to bed a mere four hours earlier, so I was extremely tired and confused.

A half hour earlier, a drunk 300 pound Samoan guy tried entering our apartment. He repeatedly inserted his key card into our door. When he was still denied entrance, he began pounding on the window and door. Carolyn's dog, Ollie went nuts and started growling.

So, Carolyn opened the front door.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"I live here," he said. "I'm in unit 'C.'"

"No you don't," Carolyn said, repulsed by the alcoholic scent all over this man's apparel. He reeked of whiskey and Jack Daniels.

"Yes, I do," the guy went on, sticking his hand and foot in the doorway.

Carolyn has the biggest heart of any of my friends, but if you anger her, she can be your worst nightmare. Thankfully, we've never gotten into any fights or disputes.

Anyway, Carolyn, in her assertive tone, said to the guy, "Get the f*** off my porch. I swear to God, I'll break your hand if you step any further!"

The guy backed off and she slammed the door in his face.

It was then that she woke me up, and I went into our living room.

The guy waited by our front door for another half hour. He eventually left, and Carolyn needed to take her dog to the bathroom. After that episode, I wasn't about to send Carolyn outside by herself, so the two of us took the dog to the bathroom together. The man was gone.

So, men, if you're going to get drunk enough that you sleep walk, do all you can to avoid involving women in your delusions. They will take it the wrong way or feel threatened. Getting wasted is no excuse to stalk a girls only apartment for 45 minutes straight.

Haters gonna hate, creepers gonna creep

In October 2009, I created the "Creepshow Blog," which quickly stirred up an unnecessary amount of turmoil in my small social circle.

Although I've meet dozens of creepers, it took a specific incident in October for me to finally decide to start a dialogue on the issue at hand.

It all began at a close friend's party. Although I was sick with the worst cold/sore throat imaginable, I attended the event so I could be a designated driver for some of my buddies.

Unfortunately, certain people, creepshows in particular, don't understand the importance of sobriety when operating a motor vehicle.

The Creepshow who ultimately inspired this blog was a 29-year-old married man that tried to bully me into consuming his bottle of Patron despite the fact that I was

a. violently ill
b. a designated driver
c. not interested in drinking any alcoholic beverages

Creepshow had some reason to be irked. At the beginning of the night, he said that he wouldn't purchase any Patron, which he desperately wanted, unless I promised to take a shot. To get him off my case, I agreed to take a shot, seemingly falling into his manipulative trap.

And I went back on my word. I told him that I would not be drinking that night because I was the designated driver. SUE ME.

Anyway, he expressed legitimate rage when I wouldn't drink, especially when I explained that he was being a bad influence. It's irresponsible to drink and drive, even with one shot in your system. A tiny, 120 pound girl like me would definitely get tipsy off a single round of Patron.

Later that evening, when I noticed there were cops outside, I asked Creepshow if there was a problem.

"Why don't you just relax for once?" he said, pushing me back into the house before slamming the door.

I soon found out that Creepshow was just trying to keep the party goers away from the police. I suppose he was just trying to avoid any law enforcement conflict, but he behaved like a low class jerk for the majority of the evening.

After a half hour, I learned that Creepshow had two kids as well as a wife, but he wasn't at home with them because his marriage was "on the fritz."

That weekend, I started this blog, which deeply upset the friends that attended the party, mainly because they liked Creepshow. Suddenly, I was the bad guy for being "too harsh," even though I'm not the one who should have been apologizing.

Because I didn't want any problems with my friends, I decided to temporarily disable this blog. It took even more of their complaints/lack of support for my other writing for me to realize that they would never be happy, so why base my own decisions on the opinions of others? It's important to be strong with your beliefs, and I won't let any of my "friends" discourage me on my blogging endeavors.

As my new D.C. friend and fellow blogger Adam likes to remind me, "Haters gonna hate." So let them. With that, creepers will creep.

So, the Creepshow Blog is back.

If you've been the victim of any creepers, please email your stories to laura.donovanth AT